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Talking Animals - Laura Wise

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September 21st, 2013


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02:53 pm - Talking Animals
Master Danger is a talker.

I've never had a dog who is so persistently vocal and with such a range of voices. He often does the requisite Corgi baroo (as heard in this Buzzfeed link), although he starts out as a baritone and ends as a soprano. He mutters like a cranky boy, especially when asked to lie down: "don't wanna don't wanna don't wanna," he says, even as he drops into position. He huffs in alarm or annoyance. And he barks.

Oh, boy, does he bark.

The first time he ever barked in my ear, I was putting on his leash. Where the Small Blonde Dog of the House danced in anticipation of walks, Master Danger accesses his herding instincts. "If I bark in her face, she'll move faster!" he clearly thinks, despite repeated instructions not to do that. But that's not all.

It's not consistent, his barking. He goes through five-minute fits, and then is silent for the rest of the afternoon or evening. But what precipitates his vocal fury?

He barks at passersby on the street. He barks at leaves against the screen door. He barks at doorbells on television. (He barks at extended horn solos. He barks at violins.) He barks at neighborhood dogs' barking (note: they are all inside, as is he). He barks at school buses. Occasionally he will bark when the mailman pulls up to the streetside mailbox; he always will bark at a UPS person or similar walking up to the front door. Door-to-door salespeople and religious proselytizers get the Hound-of-the-Baskervilles barks, deep-throated and threatening.

Master Danger is a talker, but I'm rather glad that I don't always know what he's saying.

Happy Saturday, and may you only hear pleasantness in the rest of your day. :)

(19 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:anne_d
Date:September 21st, 2013 07:10 pm (UTC)
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He's quite the character, Master Danger. I agree, there are times when it's best to ignore what the offspring resident canine is muttering under her or his breath.

Oh, I saw this while I was at Art Supply Warehouse this morning, and thought of you:

http://www.amazon.com/Kikkerland-1603-Elroy-Solar-Corgi/dp/B007CE8FWW

A solar corgi. Is the world not a wonderful place?
[User Picture]
From:laurawise
Date:September 21st, 2013 10:13 pm (UTC)
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Hee. I have already been informed that my middle brother has purchased me a solar corgi for my birthday (some months away). When I explained that I had a REAL Corgi and didn't need another, he couldn't quite understand my point. ;)

Cheers and hugs to you, A!
[User Picture]
From:mamculuna
Date:September 21st, 2013 08:06 pm (UTC)
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Indeed, I've never been tempted to learn animal languages. Some things are best left unknown.
[User Picture]
From:laurawise
Date:September 21st, 2013 10:14 pm (UTC)
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One suspects that cats' thoughts, being full of leaping and preying and what not, would *definitely* be better kept to themselves!

Cheers and a lovely evening to you. :)
[User Picture]
From:mamculuna
Date:September 21st, 2013 11:12 pm (UTC)
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If only leaping and preying wereall they thought about. It's the what-not that I really don't want to know about!

[User Picture]
From:kathyh
Date:September 21st, 2013 09:41 pm (UTC)
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My brother's old dog, the Saintly Mongrel, was a very deliberate barker. Her barks were short, to the point and you always knew what she meant by them. Basically she said "I'd like food now please" and "if you don't let me out now there will be a nasty accident". My brother's current dog, the Exceptionally Greedy Labrador just barks as wildly and insanely as he does everything else. Maybe it's a male/female dog thing!

Happy Saturday to you too :)
[User Picture]
From:laurawise
Date:September 21st, 2013 10:15 pm (UTC)
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Alas for wild and insane Exceptionally Greedy males! I have every sympathy with your brother. :)

Cheers, K, and a wonderful Sunday ahead!
[User Picture]
From:ljrags
Date:September 21st, 2013 09:59 pm (UTC)
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He sounds like a great actor in training....trying on various personas {G} Herder, guard dog, warning siren, etc...

Have a great Saturday!
[User Picture]
From:laurawise
Date:September 21st, 2013 10:17 pm (UTC)
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I would love to think that he'll settle on a kinder, gentler persona -- but it seems highly unlikely, alas! Still, your theory is a good one. :)

Cheers, and have a wonderful evening and Sunday ahead.
[User Picture]
From:gwynnega
Date:September 22nd, 2013 12:08 am (UTC)
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I like animals that have a lot to say. :-)

::hugs::
[User Picture]
From:laurawise
Date:September 22nd, 2013 11:59 am (UTC)
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Then Master Danger would be your dear friend. :)

Happy day, Gwynne! [hugs]
[User Picture]
From:paratti
Date:September 22nd, 2013 10:24 am (UTC)
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Sends earplugs.

Plus (((Hugs)))
[User Picture]
From:laurawise
Date:September 22nd, 2013 11:59 am (UTC)
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Hee -- his bark is so strong that it would pierce the best earplugs!

(That having been said, he's very quiet in his crate, which is an excellent thing.)

Hugs! Happy day, L!
[User Picture]
From:freixenet
Date:September 22nd, 2013 10:48 am (UTC)
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I would bark back. Or would that be bad?
[User Picture]
From:laurawise
Date:September 22nd, 2013 12:00 pm (UTC)
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He interprets a human barking back as a challenge, and thus escalates his own vocalizing. "Shush" and a firm look 'works' better, for certain values of 'work.' ;)

Happy Sunday!
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:laurawise
Date:September 22nd, 2013 01:54 pm (UTC)
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Just after I read your comment, a commercial featuring the William Tell Overture started on auto-play in another tab -- and Master Danger went crazy barking. I managed to get him to "shush," but he's sulking about that now. ;)

Hugs for you and for Reba! Happy Sunday!
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:laurawise
Date:September 22nd, 2013 10:19 pm (UTC)
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Bless Simon, the talky boy! And Holmes as well, too. And you. :)

[hugs]

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