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Master Danger Complains, Post #8 - Laura Wise

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May 18th, 2015


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05:49 pm - Master Danger Complains, Post #8
Dear people who read this Livejournal,

Somebody come save me.

Here I am, Master Danger, minding my own business, living my life. Barking at the dogs next door (who need me to come through that fence and teach them a lesson, but I am Not Allowed), barking at crows and other birds, alerting L to the passing of large trucks and schoolbusses, hogging the fan, requiring treats and attention at regular intervals. You know, the usual.

But it is ALSO that time of year when I start to lose my undercoat. As a double-coated animal, I have a white fur coat underneath my red fur, and when it's time to blow coat, huge chunks of white fur lift off my skin, just waiting for a good time to drop and turn into fur tumbleweeds. But until then, sure, I look a little ragged.

So my owner has tried to brush me, which, NO THANK YOU. I've expressed my displeasure by gentle snapping -- I'm not really trying to make contact -- and so L has resorted to... picking at me. Like, I think I'm going to get my 30 seconds of petting followed by a treat, but instead of petting, she pulls out fur chunks.

RUDE.

So I'm making myself available for other offers. I don't want to live with other dogs, cats, children, or really people, but I don't want to be alone either. So work that out amongst yourselves and then SAVE ME.

Sincerely,
Master Danger

(19 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:laurawise
Date:May 19th, 2015 04:59 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Dear Paratti,

I don't believe that for one single second.

Sincerely,
Master Danger

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